~REVIEW of Nick Hornby's HIGH FIDELITY~



~ SADLY I'M NOT ONE OF THE "COOL KIDS"~

Opening line: My desert -island, all time, top five most memorable split-ups, in chronological order:”

This is one of those modern classics on everyone’s “to read” list and while it wasn’t my first Nick Hornby book it is the one that everyone talks about so of course I went in expecting to be awed. I guess I should mention that I haven’t seen the movie (what! I know) so I knew nothing about the storyline, not that that would have influenced me I just went into this blind.

And, well I wish I could say I loved this (since that would make me one of the cool kids) but honestly the best I can come up with is under whelmed. Of course the writing is wonderful and it really is laugh-out-loud funny in places but I also found myself alternating between skim reading because the story wasn’t going anywhere and all the 80’s pop music references and top 5 lists got to be a bit much and being in absolute awe. Rereading and marking numerous passages because they were just genius, describing exactly how I felt/feel. I should also mention that the music references are somewhat dated now and anyone under the age of 40 will be scratching their heads especially if you live in America as this involves British Indie bands and pop music.

I think one of the main problems for me is that our protagonist Rob isn’t a very likable character. It was hard to have any sort of compassion for him or for that matter to even want to read about him and I actually found myself preferring any of the sections that placed him with other people because when we were alone in his head being all introspective I got bored. Rob is immature, selfish, self-absorbed and depressed, stuck in a job, apartment and relationship that have all gone stale. He has zero self confidence yet at the same time is so full of himself that he expects everything to revolve around him, which of course it doesn’t and this in turn makes him lash out at his friends, parents and girlfriend to feel better about the state of his life.

Rob is a bit of a loser; a thirty-something music junkie he spends his days running a near failing record shop and reminiscing about the 80’s when he was semi successful DJ. Rob’s life has stalled and he can’t see a way out so he compiles top 5 lists of his favourite bands, songs, episodes of Cheers etc, insults his equally lost friends and plots ways to kill the guy who lives in the flat upstairs and stole his girlfriend. Along the way Rob manages to grow up, (some) and realizes change might not be so horrible. Cheers

~REVIEW of Ozzy Osbourne's I AM OZZY~

 

Opening Line: "My father always said I would do something big one day."

I grew up in the 80’s so the Ozzy that I knew wasn’t the comical, stuttering MTV family man of today but the Prince of darkness. Black Sabbath’s scary, out of control singer who bit the head off of bats and doves and worshiped the devil. (Or so the rumours said) My brother used to play his records (yes I’m that old) during his rocker/bad boy phase (he’s now with the RCMP) and I remember being forced to listen to Ozzy Osbourne Crazy Train and Bark At The Moon 24 hours a day. Ozzy’s exploits with drugs, women and Satan were legendary. In those days he was the ultimate in heavy metal music, if you wanted to be cool there just wasn’t anybody badder or scarier.

So you can imagine how strange it was for me to see him years later bumbling around with his family on MTV. Who the hell was this guy? Although he did provide an excellent example of the 80’s campaign “this is what happens to your brain on drugs” (anyone remember that ad with the fried egg?) It was hard for me to comprehend that this was the same man, Ozzy was the devil not a man who lived in the English countryside with a wife and kids. I was intrigued enough that I had to read his biography, to figure out which Ozzy was the real Ozzy. The truth is though, they both are.

Honestly this is one of the better rock biographies out there and I give credit to co-author Chris Ayers who’s managed to piece together all of Ozzy’s insane stories yet still allowed his true voice to ring through. I did wonder how on earth Ozzy could possibly write a book much less remember anything after 40 years of drug and alcohol abuse but it turns out the godfather of heavy metal remembers quite a lot. We start at the beginning in England with “John” growing up in a poor factory town without enough to eat or an indoor toilet. Crazy from the get-go John always wanted more and his rise to fame is an amazing journey.

Ozzy admits early on to struggling with dyslexia and I can only assume that he dictated this, leaving Chris Ayers with his work cut out for him. He’s done a fantastic job though because this flows really well and every page is funny, fascinating, shocking, at times unbelievable and brutally honest. All the dirt is here too so if you’re a fan of the music then theres a plethora of information about album covers, lyrics, band politics and the truth behind the music. We also get to see a lot of other rock royalty joining in the debauchery. In the end I wondered (as Ozzy does) how he’s managed to stay alive through it all. All aboard ….

Some of the many highlights for me were;

32 pages of color photographs

His jobs in a meat processing factory and testing car horns (pardon?)
His rise to fame and first experiences in America, the land of plenty (of cocaine)
His sexual exploits with groupies including an aids scare
Details of his first marriage and trying to keep it together for the kids while seeing Sharon
Almost killing a vicar with hash cake
The real story behind the bat
The death of his guitarist in an airplane that crashed into his tour bus
Waking up in the middle of a freeway
Figuring Betty Ford could teach him to drink like a gentleman or James Bond
His remorse over the moments he missed in his children’s lives because he was always pissed
Buying a horse because he couldn’t pass his drivers test and riding it to the pub
The realization that guns and booze don’t mix
His numerous arrests including the infamous pissing on the Alamo
The chaos that ensued after the success of the Osborne’s
Meeting The president and the Queen
The horror when he wakes up in jail not knowing why he is there and is told he tried to kill Sharon.
How Sharon stuck by him through years of outrageous intoxicated behaviour.
Why he stutters and shakes

~REVIEW of Steven Tyler's DOES THE NOISE IN MY HEAD BOTHER YOU?~

Opening line: “Life is short. Break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that makes you smile.”

Reading about rock stars and their insane lives of excess is one of my guilty pleasures. I find the rise to success intriguing and then there are always the drugs, the girls, the inevitable rehab, more rehab and the stories behind the story. You know, how a song originated, what the lyrics really mean, why he fell off the stage. Then there’s also the feuds with band mates, personal relationships and dirty little secrets of other stars they party with.

Steven Tyler's bio is no different, all the goods are here, and he doesn’t hold anything back (understatement) the only thing is in order to get to “the goods” you have to wade through utter randomness to find them. Yes Steve the noise is your head does bother me because most of the time I can’t keep up with what you’re talking about.

This is written exactly how Tyler talks (and sings) with a what-will-he-say next, conversationally feel to it. And while its fun it’s also bizarre, crazy and at times difficult to follow. Jumping all over the place without a logical timeline and obscure song lyrics and poems thrown in whenever he feels like it. He wants to sniff J.Lo, he’s doing lines on tour, he’s driving around in a yellow convertible with some hot babe, suddenly he’s back in school, he’s married, he’s in rehab, it’s all Joe Perry’s fault, this is what black tastes like, I like to walk naked in my garden and talk to the fairies.

 Page 90-“I sat down at the drums and wrote the drum line for Walk This Way. You want the story now or when we get to Toys in the Attic? Hey, I never said this was gonna be a completely linear read. How could it be? (Ha!) But we’re on DRUMS so… what the f---”

Anyways maybe if I were a true Aerosmith fan I would have appreciated this more, I don’t know? As it was though once I was able to turn the noise down there was a lot of interesting stuff here because at 63 and with 40 years in the business Steve has seen and done it all with everyone.

As expected theres a ton of drug use here which actually gets kind of boring after a while I will admit though at being surprised when after 12 years of sobriety, a slew of health problems (Hepatitis C, false brain tumour diagnosis, torn ACL, broken blood vessel in throat and all the problems with his twisted feet) sent him spinning out of control with an addiction to post surgery pain meds and back for an 8th stint in rehab in 2009.

He goes into great detail about his wardrobe and scarves which I’m sure will interest some and although his “brother” Joe Perry’s name is mentioned throughout we learn little about their ongoing love/hate relationship. We also hear about his wives (3 and counting), his children (4 and counting) and how Aerosmith always came before his family. I personally found the sections on song writing super interesting; the process, what the lyrics mean or in his case don’t because sometimes he just likes how the words feel on his tongue.

With 32 pages of great photos fans will lick this up however I could only give it 3 stars because it took me ages to finish and at times drove me mad.