~REVIEW of Jaci Burton & Lauren Dane's HOLIDAY HEAT~

 

 

Opening Line: Mitch Margruder didn't hear the word "no" very often, especially in business, and usually never from a woman."

"HOLIDAY HEAT contains 2 loosely themed Christmas stories by a pair of my favourite erotica authors who together give us the perfect little bit of escapism during that time of the year when you need to avoid the family and beat the winter blues. Both stories felt complete (at approx 130 pages) and definitely took me away to a sexy, warm place just when I needed it most. On pure “heat” factor alone I preferred Dane’s story (it was kinda kinky) although Burton’s story is equally good as it takes us to sunshine and white sand beaches.

UNRAVELLED by Jaci Burton

Mitch is a former pro surfer turned successful hotel entrepreneur. He’s always on the lookout for the next big wave or next great deal so while home for the holidays he jumps at the chance to build one of his famous hotels right on the Florida beach where he grew up, the only thing standing in his way is Greta. Divorced with 2 children Greta is struggling to make ends meet at the run-down beachfront motel she inherited from her father. The motel means everything to her and no amount of persuasion or money could force her to sell. Knowing that Mitch is trying to coax her into selling Greta agrees to several dates with the sexy tycoon, she figures why not? As long as she goes in eyes open why not enjoy some fancy dinners, limo rides and moonlit walks on the beach? However Mitch no longer considers Greta business. She makes him think about things he’s never considered before like a home and family. Suddenly Mitch finds himself doing the coaxing for entirely different reasons.

SWEET CHARITY by Lauren Dane
8 years ago Charity and Gabriel had a terrible one night stand that both would sooner forget the problem is neither of them can. Charity wonders if it was her fault things went flaccid and wants to try again. Gabe just wants to avoid Charity altogether, because in his mind she’s a decent, respectable girl who’d never be up for the dark, dirty things he wants to do with her. Once the tequila shots and lustful stares start flying though its only a matter of time before this pair lands back in bed and this time its entirely possible Charity’ won’t be the woman Gabe thinks she is. I mean what’s a little candle wax and whips when she’s found the man she wants to marry?

Jaci Burton and Lauren Dane have put together two hot stories that make good reading at any time of the year

~REVIEW of Robin Carr's A VIRGIN RIVER CHRISTMAS~

A Virgin River Christmas (Virgin River, #4)

 

Opening Line: "Marcie Sullivan drove into the small town, her sixth small mountian town of the day, and found herself face-to-face with a Christmas tree trimming."

AVRC is my first Robyn Carr book which would make me...you guessed it, a Robyn Carr virgin. Anyways, this isn’t the type of contemporary romance I usually read (I like a bit of action, suspense or the occasional vampire in my mix) However the Virgin River series is so hugely popular and was recommended to me by a ton of people so I just had to check it out.

...And I’m happy to say that except for the author’s unusual fixation with an outhouse I got sucked right into this heart tugging romance. Enough so that I didn’t want to read anything else when I finished and have gone back to start the series at the beginning.

Yes this is book #4 in a series of 13 (and counting) however that doesn't seem to have any bearing on this particular story (I think because it’s a special Christmas edition). Sure there were a few characters I might have enjoyed more if I’d know their ‘story’ but this stood just fine on its own and centered pretty much solely on Ian and Marcie’s heartbreaking journey of love and healing.

The best word I could use to describe Robyn Carr’s writing is comfortable. It’s just relaxed and easy and felt like I was reading about friends or I imagine if you’re well into the series like coming home. Carr never once had me shaking my head thinking that’s wrong or ridiculous or the H/h would never do that. The story flows very well too, is funny in parts and heart wrenching in others and except for letting the outhouse become a character of its own, left me wanting more. I feel like Carr could become the sort of author I’d pick up when nothing else is striking my fancy and know that I’d enjoy it.

Marcie Sullivan is looking for closure; she’s come to Virgin River to find her husbands Sergeant and best friend. The man responsible for saving Bobby in Iraq and giving her three years to say goodbye while he slowly died from his battle injuries. As Marcie cared for her husband she forged a friendship (through letters) with his sergeant Ian, pouring out her heart, frustrations and sadness to a man she’d never met. Then suddenly the letters stopped and soon her husband was gone too. Now a year later Marcie still can’t seem to move on with her life, she’s decided she has to find Ian. To talk to him about what happened over there and make sure he‘s okay.

But locating Ian hasn’t been easy, nobody’s seen him for years and his family has all but written him off. After following several leads Marcie at last finds her hero but he doesn’t want to be found and definitely doesn’t want to be reminded of Iraq. Ian’s living far off the grid of society, a recluse in a rundown cabin in the woods with no amenities. Yes that’s right an…outhouse (dun dun dah) Ian Growls at Marcie to leave him alone, sounding much like the bear he now resembles what with all that hair but Marcie refuses to go until she completes her mission. Of course this leads to her almost freezing to death, catching hypothermia and Ian having to save and care for her until she’s better (It is a romance after all)

Marcie’s character is a bit of a goof and I really liked her and her adventures with living in a rustic cabin. I found it odd though that suffering a burn from not knowing how to light propane stove was hilarious while a flu/cold was a matter of life and death? I also didn’t find this quite as romantic as I’m sure others will as I have lived in the bush without power and it loses its appeal mighty fast especially in the winter. So while some might think it quaint that they cook on a woodstove, and read by candlelight, I cringed.

Anyways you don’t need to know much else, all the townsfolk turn up in one way or another and Marcie and Ian forge into a new type of friendship, one with benefits. Oh and it all happens right around Christmas. Sigh.

~REVIEW of Ian Spector's THE TRUTH ABOUT CHUCK NORRIS~

~Hilarious and I don't know why?~

The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Facts About the World's Greatest Human
 

Opening line: " When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger aired in France, the French surrendered just to be on the safe side."

THE TRUTH ABOUT CHUCK NORRIS is a hilarious collection of over 400 "facts" about the phenomenon know as Chuck Norris. (World's greatest human) I was in tears from laughing so hard while reading this although I'm still at a loss in how to explain why it's so funny? I can however tell you that if you Google Chuck Norris jokes you will get well over a million hits and that my 65 year old mother and police officer brother also found it highly amusing. So it seems the silliness appeals to all.

In this parody we get to learn all about Chuck Norris's amazing strength, his indestructible beard, his frightening sexual virility, the power of his fist, his ability to stop time by thinking about pineapples, the strength of his roundhouse kicks and much, much more. There are 400 "facts" inside and several cool, illustrated pictures.

Since my initiation into Chuck Norris's amazing world I have purchased 3 more copies of this book for family and friends and would recommend it to just about anyone plus it makes for a great piece of bathroom literature.

-Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

-Chuck Norris does not leave messages he leaves warnings.

-When Chuck Norris breaks wind, it stays broken.

-Sometimes the setting sun will linger just a few minutes on the horizon to get one last look at Chuck Norris.

-Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris Pyjamas.

-The movie Rambo was inspired by Chuck Norris's time as a boy scout.

And if you don't buy this book right now and laugh Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you back in time so you can indeed purchase THE TRUTH ABOUT CHUCK NORRIS

~REVIEW of Robin Schone's THE LOVER~

~SENSUAL, ITIMATE AND DARKLY EROTIC~

The Lover (The Lover #1)

Opening line: "Death. Desire. Michael did not know which of the two had brought him back to London."

I have never read a book quite like this before. Robin Schone's style of writing is amazing. Extremely personal and without rush, with pages of deliciously drawn out foreplay. The intimacy of her words makes you feel as though you were right there in the room with our lovers. Voyeuristic, reader foreplay if you will.

I was initially surprised that THE LOVER is a period piece, taking place in Victorian London but Robin Schone has done her homework and the attention given to the detail of the time is excellent. The clothing, and home trappings, the formality of the servants, and the constant reminders of ones status make for a well written historical novel.

The Lover tells the story of 36 year old Anne Aimes. A self admitted spinster who spent her coming out years caring for her elderly parents. After their death she is alone and feels that her only attribute is her vast wealth. Beneath Anne's virginal plain looks and grey streaked hair however lurks a passionate woman who yearns to know the caress of a man. For the period of one month and at a cost of ten thousand pounds Anne hires the services of prostitute Michel Des Anges from the house of Gabriel.

Anne has admired Michel since she first saw him years before at a high society ball. but time hasn't been kind to Michel. His face and hands having been horribly disfigured by fire. Anne however isn't bothered by the scars, she still finds Michel attractive. He has the body of a god and those eyes, those violet eyes. What Anne doesn't realize is that Michel is tormented and driven by vengeance. In hiring Michel's services Anne has unwittingly become a sacrifice in his plans for revenge. As the wheels of retaliation are set into motion Michel begins to doubt if he can really surrender the one woman who still wants to touch him, the one that sees beyond his scars, the spinster he now loves.

The ending here is dark and plenty suspenseful. The sex scenes are some of the best I've ever read and you will find yourself craving chocolate and bananas when done.

Highly recommended, this is more than just erotica.

~REVIEW of Jacquelyn Frank's JACOB~

Jacob (Nightwalkers, #1)

Opening Line: "How ridiculously simple it would be to cause them harm."

Jacob is the Demon enforcer for his people. His responsibility for the past 700 years has been to protect the human population from fellow Nightwalkers who fall victim to the maddening Moonlust. He takes his duties as enforcer seriously and over the years has even had to punish close friends and family members when they stray too close to humans. Because of this Jacob has become feared within Demon society, now an involuntary loner. One night while hunting a rogue Demon, Jacob inadvertently rescues a woman after she falls from her apartment window, landing safely in his strong arms. The attraction between the two is immediate, he cannot let her go. Has Jacob himself fallen victim to Moonlust?

There's something strange about this raven haired nymph. Isabella's not just your average human, for within minutes of being rescued she senses something and runs into a warehouse. Jacob follows and is rendered helpless as she proceeds to kill a Necromancer (bad guy) while it practices the black arts. Jacob, unable to believe what he's seen puts Bella into a deep sleep and takes her back to his castle where he'll try to figure out what she really is. When Bella awakes she isn't at all scared, just excepting and curious about this new world she finds herself in. She's apparently really horny too despite the fact that she's a virgin (why are they always virgins?) The couple can't seem to keep their hands off each other, even though this little collaboration will mean certain death for Jacob. Just as the intense make-out session reaches a precipice it is rudely interrupted by the demon king Noah. He also assumes that Jacob has gone mad with lust. Now who will enforce the enforcer?

 After some explanations, Bella proceeds to hang out in the Demon library learning about their rich culture as her psychic connection with Jacob and strange new powers inexplicably grow. Eventually Bella locates some ancient papers that will change the course of human and Demon destiny forever, and thankfully explain what she is becoming.

Jacquelyn Frank has created a very detailed and complex world with this first book in her Nightwalkers Series. And although I really enjoyed the initial chapters as well as the exciting and romantic final chapters, the middle section seemed to stall. As the author filled in pages and pages of Demon history, rules and culture while Jacob and Bella just hung out in the castle having telepathic phone sex in each others minds. I just wanted to get on with it, for SOMETHING to happen.

I also found Bella's character to be particularly annoying with her rolling eyes and silly quips. There were parts however that I loved and this is a good book, maybe just not great. It was nice to read a paranormal without Vampires and I appreciated the tightness and detail of Ms Frank's well written first novel. The secondary characters have also been well developed and left elusive enough for you to want to come back for another instalment. Cheers!

~REVIEW of Kimberly Raye's DEAD SEXY~

~Ticked all my boxes~

Dead Sexy (Love At First Bite #1)

 

Opening Line: "He needed a woman."

Oh, I liked this one. But then again when you’ve got an uber-sexy, yet tortured motorcycle riding, cowboy vampire on the hunt what’s not to like? All my boxes have just been ticked. Throw in a well written story, relatable and funny heroine, scorching hot love scenes, some tender dialogue and an awesome cast of eccentric secondary characters and you’ve got yourself a winner.

Nikki Braxton has given up hope on ever finding a man without issues in her hometown of Skull Creek (the last one stole her underwear and stilettos before he left) However she doesn’t want to get a reputation like her wild and wanton Mamma either and in a town this size everybody knows your business. This leaves Nikki in a state of permanent sexual frustration, getting her highs from cotton candy, baked goods and perm solution. That is until the night Jake McCann rolls into town. This delicious cowboy is just passing through and could be the perfect solution to her little problem; a one night, no strings attached, orgasmic roll in the hay without any of the towns wagging tongues the wiser.

For Jake the down and dirty he’s just had with Nikki is about more than just sex. He’s a vampire on a mission, a mission that after decades has led him to Skull Creek and the enemy that turned him. To be able to destroy his nemesis though Jake’s going to need his batteries fully charged and this is where Nikki comes in. You see Jake doesn’t just feed on blood he feeds on sexual energy and Nikki’s got a ton to spare, so much so that one night with her simply isn’t going to be enough.

I was very curious about the idea of a cowboy vampire and thought this is either going to be really silly or super sexy. Luckily Jake (and all the characters) have been written in such multi-faceted ways that the idea works, big time. Giving you everything you could possibly want in a quickie Harlequin romance and then some. Jake is a fantastic character; self assured, intensely sexual and driven yet also vulnerable and lonely without even knowing it. Yup I fell hard for this Cowboy. Nikki is also great, completely down to earth and fun to be around. Their romance takes some surprising turns and for as steamy as it gets it was also very sweet. I will definitely be searching out more from Kimberly Raye and can’t wait to read the rest of her Scull Creek series, she made this small town and its cast of characters come alive. Cheers!

~REVIEW of SJ Watson's BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP~

“What are we if not an accumulation of our memories?”

Opening line: "The bedroom is strange. Unfamiliar. I don't know where I am."

Really, really enjoyed this one (thanks Tamster) even though suspense/thrillers aren’t my usual genre. The premise here reminds me of the movie 50 First Dates -girl wakes up each morning with no memories of the previous day(s) and essentially relives each new day as her first, being told about her accident and looking at photographs of her missing life. This isn’t a comedy though. The story here is dark and mysterious, with an impending sense of everyone/everything is not as it seems. As the reader you have the task of trying to figure it out who the bad guy is, who’s lying to Christine and why. I didn’t figure that out or see the big twist coming until I was right on top of it, so this was a super fun read for me.

At times the story does get repetitive because we’re continually in Christine’s head, being retold or reading and relearning everything from her journal over and over again. By the same token the first person narrative also got to be a bit much but really this couldn’t have been written any other way.

 We begin with Christine waking up in a stranger’s bed. She can’t remember how she got there but her twenty-something self tells her that she must have hooked up with the man at a party. Christine is not hung over though and soon learns that she’s no longer in twenties either but from the same decade as the middle aged man washing up in the bathroom. And now he’s telling her that he’s her husband Ben, and that she suffered a devastating injury resulting in a rare form of amnesia, leaving her unable to retain memories from one day to the next.

Left alone Christine begins to putter about the house, what does she do all day anyways? Does it matter? She soon receives a phone call from a man claiming to be her Doctor; he explains that she has been keeping a journal and where it is hidden. It is through this journal that Christine begins to piece her life back together, forming a fragmented picture from those she is supposed to trust. But not everything adds up and as the days go by and the journal entries get longer Christine realizes that she is receiving two different versions of her life from her Doctor and her husband.

Relying completely on the journal Christine begins testing her husband and finally doubting herself as confusing memories return. Are they real? When the last day’s journal entry reads “Don’t trust Ben” who will she turn to? What is the truth?

I found this scary and sad in the sense that Christine has lost 20 years of her life. Imagine being in college and waking up at 45! Repeating the same day over and over, not knowing what is real, just relying on those you think you can trust. Realizing that you’ve probably been having the same conversations, asking the same questions and being told the same horrible truths (lies) every day.

This was a great read, it’s not perfect but made me stop and think. It has also been optioned for film by Ridley Scott’s production company. And I think it will make a fantastic movie.